{DISCLAIMER: These are three excerpted sequences from a political satire based on an actual cold case which, for reasons demonstrated in the opening sequence, will never be solved. More than the names have turned to fiction. The plot is not documentary but rather analogous to what can be reconstructed from real but very sketchy events. The primary source of background information is The Octopus: Secret Government and the Death of Danny Casolaro, by Kenn Thomas and Jim Keith. This play, however, is not a dramatization of that book. It is, to repeat, not a docudrama but a satire.
      Do I protest too much?}

(The stage is dark except for REPORTER.)

(Lights up, but subdued. To the Reporter’s right stands a simple table with telephone and other clutter, and a chair; to his left a curtained bathtub (on hidden wheels), and on the floor beside it blood-soaked towels. The bathtub curtain is partially askew, revealing naked knees splayed.)

(Gently he pulls back the curtain to reveal a ghastly face thrown back, eyes and jaws open. He pulls the curtain round to conceal the body. He steps across to the table.)

(Carefully between finger and thumb he picks up yellow legal sheet, shows handwriting to audience.)

“To those who I love the most. Please forgive me for the worst possible thing I could have done. Most of all I’m sorry to my son. I know deep down inside that God will let me in.”

(Carefully he places the sheet back on the table, tidying it.)

(A woman enters the scene with a stack of clean towels; is startled by the bloody towels, runs out. Now four men enter, two donning police hats, two donning fire hats.)

(All four put on latex gloves. One policeman surveys the “room,” picks up a wallet from the table, taking out license and credit cards; picking up and reading the yellow sheet, nodding. The firefighters draw back the curtain and prepare to lift the body out of the tub. The second policeman picks up and shakes an empty beer can from beside the tub; then reaches into the tub, picks up a razor of the sort found in a box-cutter. A woman appears, dressed as a nurse; briefly examines the corpse’s arms, notes the razor shown by the policeman.)

(The nurse-coroner bends down, feels around the body, and pulls the drain plug, sadly shaking head. She stands up, nodding to the paramedics, who with the body’s legs turn the tub around, drawing the curtain.)

(Meanwhile the first policeman has found a tote bag out of which he’s taking and organizing clothes. The second policeman takes photos of everything, especially the yellow sheet on the table.)

(Cop #1 carefully puts the unopened razor blades and Vicodine bottle in separate plastic baggies.)

(Mike enters.)

(To nurse-coroner)

(Angrily, nurse-coroner exits. Mike steps up to another doctor, entering with unhappy news.)

(To Mike. Shrugs)

(Cops enter.)

(Cops look at each other, surprised.)

(Cops turn to grill a new man.)

(He turns the bathtub around, revealing Danny C. once again in the tub, head thrown back, eyes and jaws open – but this time, fully clothed.)

Danny – what can we find out?

(No response. Reporter draws the shower curtain around the body.)

Suicide? Murder? An extremely brutal end you came to. Danny–. No, let’s try an entirely different approach. Danny – what can you find out ... that you haven’t yet.

(The body stirs, flails weakly.)

(Behind the curtain. In pain.)

(Danny cries out in despair.)

(Danny says nothing.)

(To audience)

(Looks at curtained tub. To audience)

(Looks at tub)

(Danny is silent)

(Looks round the stage and theater.)

(Withdraws from pocket, unrolls, and ties on an apron with Masonic symbols. Then he pulls out and flourishes a trowel.)

(Clears throat; takes folded paper from pocket, unfolds it. Holding the trowel like a sceptre.)

“I begin to look forward -- with a kind of political faith -- to scenes of National happiness -- which have not heretofore been offered to the most favored of Nations. The natural, political, and moral circumstances of our nascent empire -- justify the anticipation.”

(Refolds and pockets the paper. Trowel still held up, he goes to the curtained tub.)

(Reporter draws back the curtain. Danny’s body rises up, fully clothed. He trembles, his eyes wince, jaws clutch and grind.)

(Danny is standing unsteadily, eyes unseeing. Reporter touches Danny with the trowel; Danny steps out.)

(Lea enters. Removing the apron and setting aside the trowel, the Reporter wheels the tub off into the shadows.)

(Pulls out and fits white wig on his head)

(Points at a shaggy bear of a man in a telephone chair, on whom a spotlight now comes up)

(Reporter points to Danny in his telephone chair with legal pad and slightly thicker accordion file.)

(In lowered voice)

(Reporter gestures, the speakers freeze. Reporter adjusts wig, speaks with great formality and dignity)

(Reporter points at Danny and Danger Man)

(Reporter gestures, the speakers freeze again. Again the Reporter speaks with great formality and dignity)

(Reporter points at Danny and Danger Man)

(Reporter gestures, the speakers freeze. He resumes with great formality and dignity)

(Reporter points to Danny and Danger Man)

(To Danny, who turns and stares at him)

(Danny, with accordion file, walks up to Deputy Sheriff, who stands arms folded)

(Danny and Danger Man sit down again in telephone chairs.)

(Deputy Sheriff indicates the phone call’s over. Danger Man gets up and goes with him. A lawyer pulls up a folding chair, Danny, with accordion file, pulls another up on the passenger side.)

(Lawyer and Danny get up as though leaving a car. Reporter pushes out a bar, which here serves as judge’s bench. Removing white wig, he drops a black robe over his head. Danger Man appears handcuffed, ankles shackled; the Deputy Sheriff holds the back of his shirt bunched in his fist. A figure pushes out a table and chair. Lawyer and Danny move their chairs over to the table; all three sit down, the Deputy Sheriff standing behind.)

(Lowering voice)

(Gavels)

(Rises)

(Deputy Sheriff grips the back of Danger Man’s shirt, pulls him to his feet.)

(Doffing black robe, Reporter shoves the bar aside)

(To Danny)

(Danger Man exits with Deputy Sheriff, who drags the table with him)

(To Lawyer)

(Laughs)

(Lawyer exits. Reporter puts the two chairs together, sits in the driver’s chair)

(Danny, with accordion file, sits shotgun)

(Danny stares at him)

(Laughs)

(Dour bearded old man in a wide-brimmed leather hat walks up warily)

(Holding out hand)

(Aside to audience)

(Reporter remains in seat, watching. Danny notices that he doesn’t leave.)

(He looks at Reporter. Smiles uncertainly.)

(He covers his head with the accordion file.)

(With abrupt threatening gesture)

(Looks toward the Reporter, who shrugs and laughs. To Dutchman)

(Reporter howls with laughter. The Dutchman, dourly, begins to shuffle in a stiff-jointed tap dance to an upbeat “The Church’s One Foundation,” singing Bach’s original German.)

(To Reporter)

(Reporter points to chair beside him. Danny sits down, staring at him. Reporter gets up, making as though closing car door.)

(Reporter exits. Danny points an annoyed face this way and that; looks down as though for a tape in the wet leaves; looks up, rolls eyes, presses fingers into eyes. As he sits, eyes pressed closed, a figure backs out from where the Reporter exited, in shuffling slippers. The figure wears hair tousled, dressing-gown ungirdled; he turns around, papers in hands, cheeks unshaven, spectacles on tip of nose. Danny looks up.)

(Spreads arms for embrace. Danny stands up and backs away.)

(As Danny backs away, Reporter presses closer)

(He tenders the letter toward Danny’s accordion file.)

(Squinting)

(Laughing)

(Winks)

(Reporter removes spectacles, doffs wig.)

(Dons spectacles and wig again.)

(Proffers a new slip of paper)

(He gestures at Danny’s accordion file.)

(To audience)

(Laughs)

(Birgit exits. A heavy dark man enters, in a dark suit. He and Danny pull up chairs to a table, talk in low voices. Birgit sticks head in.)

(Dark man looks at her.)

(Lights dim but don’t go out. Reporter enters.)

(Dark man gets up, takes leave of Danny, exits.)

(Placing typewriter on the table, Danny resumes typing; stops; winces and rips page out of the typewriter; rolls in a new page; picks up the old page, strikes out two lines, starts writing on it. His very fat accordion file lies at his feet.)

(Phone rings. Lights up on Roger Thornhill in other telephone chair. Danny throws down the pen, stares at the phone, letting it ring again, then impatiently picks up the receiver.)

(They hang up. Lights dim on Roger, who exits. Danny writes down the name, stares at it, tosses the paper aside, resumes typing – but obviously he’s just hitting keys in exasperation. He looks at phone, takes receiver and starts dialing. Another man sits down in the other phone chair, picks up the receiver.)

(Too loudly)

(They hang up. Other man shakes head. Danny shakes head, wearily. A woman, Cathy, pulls up a chair, sits beside him, sets down two drinks.)

(Drinks. She watches him.)

(Cathy’s jaw drops. Reporter steps out. Cathy takes her glass, moves back to the other telephone chair.)

(Danny into phone. Cathy picks up hers.)

(Laughing)

(Man enters behind her, takes the phone, she exits, he sits down.)

(They laugh)

(A second woman, Ginger, enters, takes the phone from the man, who exits.)

(Danny resumes typing, like a rock drummer.)

(Danny gets up, pulls out a black leather briefcase, puts his accordion file inside, reordering some papers, smoothing lumps. Birgit appears with a handful of cleaned and pressed shirts on hangers. Danny puts the briefcase on the floor with a thud.)

(Birgit exits with the shirts.)

(Man enters. Danny hands him some papers from the briefcase.)

(Whistles)

(Man exits. Danny sits back down to typewriter and telephone.)

(Danny on the phone)

(Danny picks up the heavy black briefcase and the black leather tote bag. During the Reporter’s narration, he walks to a man in a suit who appears to one side, and hands him a check; cheery pantomime. Then he picks up his bags, crosses to the other side, where a smiley woman appears. Danny mimes signing a register, grins her a salute, and swings his bags back to the center, rear, and parks them. Hesitates. Picks up the heavy briefcase and leaves, miming locking door. Then he walks holding the bag like a diplomatic courier up to a bar rolled out by a man; mimes ordering, receiving bottle of wine, paying. He sits down in a chair at a table, mimes pouring himself a glass.)

(Danny gets up, walks briefcase in a circle to the opposite side of the table, plunks down. A girl comes up simpering.)

(Waitress giggles, flounces away, flounces back miming placing a big pitcher of beer and then a big tray of pizza.)

(Giggles)

(He mimes suddenly stuffing his mouth full of pizza. Girls skips away laughing.)

(Danny, having stood up, freezes at this question. When he fails to respond, Reporter resumes.)

(Danny sits down at table as bar glides up. The dark heavy man from a few scenes ago sits down with him. The heavy man looks up as though from intense, very confidential discussion.)

(With accent)

(Lounge waitress approaches reproachfully.)

(Lounge waitress plunks two beers on the table, then turns to Reporter, who holds out his fist like a microphone.)

(Reporter nods, lounge waitress exits. Reporter mouths “Red herring” to the audience. Danny and heavy man exit, and Danny reappears with a bucket of ice. A new man, passing Danny, mimes opening the door of the neighboring motel room.)

(To neighbor)

(Neighbor gives friendly laugh, enters his room. Danny mimes entering his own room.)

(Reporter steps behind bar, throws towel over shoulder, moves glasses around. Danny is at table beside the bar, pantomiming with two lounging women. The women make eye contact with Jack. Jack rises to mosey over. The women smile at each other and leave. Jack looks after them.)

(Danny gets up, a little unsteadily, and exits. Reporter, towel on shoulder, steps up to Jack, holding out his fist like a microphone.)

(Reporter looks significantly at audience, shrugs. Danny re-enters with concentrated effort to walk a straight line. Reporter returns behind bar.)

(Laughs)

(Danny talks excitedly, Jack listens and asks a question now and then.)

(Looking at watch)

(Laughs. Exits with little halts and starts. Reporter, drying glass, steps over to Jack, again holding up fist like a microphone.)

(To audience)

(Shrugs. Exits.)

(Birgit enters, picks up Danny’s phone. Reporter has picked up the other phone.)

(Reporter puts towel over receiver and talks unintelligibly)

(In a strained voice, with unplaceable accent)

(Birgit slams down the receiver.)

(Birgit impatiently picks up the phone. Reporter picks up his receiver.)

(In clear voice, no accent.)

(She slams down the phone and exits, muttering curses.)

(Phone rings again. Birgit enters, debates with herself, warily picks it up. Reporter picks up a small radio playing faint music.)

(Reporter says nothing. The music plays faintly.)

(She slams down the receiver, exits quite disturbed.)

(Phone rings. Birgit approaches as though she’ll strangle it, but she seems near tears.)

(Reporter says nothing, but lets the faint music play. Birgit slams down the receiver and runs off.)

(Phone rings. Birgit attacks it.)

(Nothing, not even music this time. She slams down the receiver and runs out.)

(Captain enters, puts two chairs together, sits down on the driver’s side. Danny comes skipping out with the big accordion file under his arm, laughing and waving.)

(Captain gives a sheaf of papers to Danny, who slides them into one of the file spaces.)

(Danny and Captain shake hands. Captain exits with his chair. Danny swings his over beside the bar, which glides up again.)

(Towel on shoulder)

(Reporter puts a Bud Lite and glass on the table. Danny pours, drinks ... and stares. Reporter exits, re-enters with a shrimp cocktail, which he puts beside the Bud.)

(Hesitates)

(Attempts smile, then laughs)

(He pats the bulky accordion file)

(Laughs)

(He raises a glass ... that’s empty.)

(To audience)

(Into phone)

(Danny strolls up to the bar. He appears weary but composed. Girl behind bar motions him to wait.)

(Danny mimes pouring a cup, paying.)

(Danny walks back toward telephone chair, miming sipping very cautiously)

(Reporter exits as he relates this last fact. Danny sits down wearily, resolutely pulls accordion file up onto lap, starts leafing through it purposefully. A soft rap on the door -- from direction opposite to the direction Reporter has exited. Danny starts, turns; puts file aside and exits eagerly. Three beats. Danny re-enters, walking backwards in bewilderment, as a wheelchair follows him, in which the Reporter, bespectacled, blanket on legs, propels the wheels with a flourish, head cocked, cigarette holder jaunty in his teeth, and a big grin.)