THE AMPUTATION Joe McCabe SETTING: In an operating room are a surgeon and his assistant. A patient lies on an operating table. NURSE: Stop, Doctor! You're cutting the wrong leg. Look at the chart. DOCTOR: Never yell at me while I'm operating! It disturbs my concentration. Can't you tell the right leg from the left leg? NURSE: Yes, and I can tell the right leg from the wrong leg. DOCTOR: For God's sake, Nurse! Peoples' legs are left and right; not right and wrong. NURSE: You're cutting his right leg Doctor. The chart says you're supposed to remove his left leg. DOCTOR: Don't you realize, Nurse, that, if I removed his left leg, then his right leg would be left? END "The Amputation" first appeared in CONFLUENCE 2003.