THE TRIO CON BRIO
Joe McCabe
SETTING: Two men (early 30's) THIN and FAT sing their lines enthusiastically as they dance about down-stage. The VOICE OVER (V.O.) is a young woman's voice (electronically amplified) expressing the thoughts of a WOMAN (early 20's) who is seated up-stage. All three actors wear masks, and the woman fans herself.
FAT: And I am much fatter by far.
THIN: You've got to be thin, if you want to win.
FAT: Winning's no matter, when you are fatter.
V.O.: No wonder they wouldn't let me see the script. "You just sit there," they said, "and fan yourself."
THIN: I am much thinner than you are.
FAT: Be of good cheer, and act without fear.
THIN: But don't forget to protect your rear.
FAT: I do when you're near and drinking your beer.
V.O.: That's disgusting! These guys are thirty-something going on eleven or twelve.
THIN: You eat and you eat till your cupboard is bare.
FAT: I like a good meal; I like my steak rare.
THIN: I eat like a bird; you eat like a bear.
FAT: I am well rounded, and you are a square.
THIN: I sing and I dance much better than you.
FAT: The hell you do. The hell you do.
THIN: I flit through the air with the greatest of flair.
FAT: Just ask that woman who sits on the chair.
THIN: Where is this woman who sits on a chair?
FAT: You really don't see her? She's sitting back there.
V.O.: I'm very lucky I'm wearing a mask. I can ignore whatever they ask.
THIN: She's wearing a mask; she seems quite aloof.
FAT: We each wear a mask. I swear by my tooth.
THIN: I heard what you said, but where is your proof?
FAT: Facts speak for themselves, and they tell the truth.
V.O.: They give me a pain. They'll drive me insane.
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